BRAVO!

"All the world's a stage, and the people, the players."

- Shakespeare 

 

We say we "know" people. We imagine how they will react and respond to us at certain times. Sensing a potential conflict, our bodies may tense, and our fight-or-flight mechanisms kick in. But is their behavior really a "predetermined" thing? Do we really know how they are truly feeling, and how they will behave? If we believe that the past determines the future, and we are not open to the possibility of change - along with our part played - then we are setting the stone. Life plays out according to our expectations; this is easy to observe. Those butterflies in our stomachs are not so much a premonition, as they are a warning from your soul: YOU are anticipating and "creating" a monster - you have strayed from the path.

"People only see what they are prepared to see."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson 

 

The "kicker" is that when someone treats you negatively, they are really showing you how you feel about yourself - the judgments you have made. You play the victim by believing and saying that "these" other people always treat you poorly. This is a false illusion - a self-created scenario. You may not get what you deserve, but you will get what you expect. With awareness comes personal responsibility.

"If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will."

- Abraham Lincoln

The only way to experience this or prove it so is to experiment in a heartfelt way. Consciously we may feel confident and defend our acts, while unconsciously we may be loathing ourselves. It's a battle between the ego and the soul. The ego seeks justice and thinks only fear; the soul sees clearly and knows only love.

"In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two."

- Erich Fromm

So, how do you change these expected, and maybe repetitive patterns of interaction? By questioning the way you feel about yourself and your actions. If another seems to be disappointed with you, seek to understand your true intentions. Journaling or self-talk are wonderful ways to investigate our inner-workings. Declarative, positive statements about ourselves can help to mold new thought patterns.

"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your own heart. Who looks outsides dreams, who looks inside awakes."

- Carl Jung

When you know that you have been behaving in an acceptable and love-centered way, there is no need for justification. Somewhere along the way you accepted a judgment as truth. This judgment may have originated in your mind, but most likely it was instilled in your mind by someone you respected. There's never anything wrong with questioning where these "truths" come from, and why....

Yet, realizing your actions had ulterior motives is another thing. Seek to understand that under it all you were only trying to protect yourself in one way or another. Then, all you have to do is see yourself as you were as a small child and hold compassion in your heart - for yourself and for your mirror.

Guilt is a burden. It will wreck you and ruin your relationships; therefore, avoid it. It will fester and drive you to do things that you would normally never feel compelled to do; all in the name of defense. 

Blame is guilt's partner. It projects our inadequacies onto another when it is too hurtful to acknowledge our supposed weakness. We feel guilty for being nice to ourselves, so another will play right in and give us the many reasons to justify our "wrongness." At that moment, we then blame the other for seemingly attacking us; when, in all actuality, we have been the "attacker" all along. We are our own worst enemy. The parts are played perfectly. BRAVO!

"The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or a hostile universe."

-Albert Einstein

All of life is a dream. We are the dreamers, and everyone in our dream, the oh-so-perfect actors.  Think of it this way: Your conscious mind is the director; your subconscious mind, the executive producer; the people you encounter, the actors; and the stage is life itself....

 

By allowing an alternative, peaceful thought about another to fill your mind, you may be surprised with the outcome. It's so much quicker and easier to alter your perception of this person, than it is to try to "change" them. Change your thoughts, and your feelings about them will change. This is not manipulation. This is the authentic way to peace - a self-imposed miracle. Darkness cannot exist where there is light.

"When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter.

As you see him, you will see yourself.

As you treat him, you will treat yourself.

As you think of him, you will think of yourself.

Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself."

- A Course in Miracles

The next time you feel an inner-struggle and witness an outer-conflict, take a moment to deeply question yourself. Remove your blinders and be open to the truth.

There are consequences to both "positive" and "negative" thinking. This cause and effect relationship either feels "good" or  feels "bad." If you aren't able to surrender to good thoughts, then it's best to not put too much energy (thought) into this person or circumstance. I'm not saying to deny it. I'm saying it'd be better to create nothing than something not-too-pretty. Acceptance is also extremely powerful. When we stop resisting, love and life can begin to flow once again.

Feel love and acceptance for yourself, and stay centered on that ground. Do not accept anything else. When your mind allows for a scene to be cut, your heart will rearrange the ending of the story, miraculously making it a "happy" one. Setting guilt, blame, and pride aside is a difficult task, yet it's worth a try. What have you got to lose...except misery?

Forgiveness of yourself (for your thoughts), and for others (for their actions) is the quickest way to experience Heaven on Earth....

"This world is but a canvas to our imagination."

- Henry David Thoreau 

CLICK HERE for DailyOM's article: "Playing Your Part"